Dracula DOESN’T suck Hollywood Dudes

There’s a vampire book that’s been available on Amazon for months, Dracula Sucks Hollywood Dudes. I’ve been avoiding buying this book because the description seemed vague, cover imagery didn’t fit the description, the price was too high while the page count low, but recently I finally took the plunge, and boy am I annoyed. This book does not live up to it’s description, and it was a disappointing read.

Here’s the book’s description:

Tim Axelrod comes home from college to Hollywood for Spring Break. His good friend (and lover) Karl invites him to experience sex like few mortals ever get to enjoy — Sex with a vampire. Yes, Hollywood is infested with vampires ready to show a college boy one heck of a time. Once you’ve been fanged and shagged by a Hollywood vampire, you will never return to unimaginative, commonplace sex again. But, oh, yes. There’s a little price to pay for the pleasure. You become undead as a result. Come step into the world of vampire sex. There’s nothing like sex with fangs in your jugular. It is all told in Dracula Sucks Hollywood Dudes."

Now let’s break this down. Tim starts the book as the narrator, but soon disappears. The character Karl is a tranny who’s original Romanian name is Carol and Tim sleeps with Carol the tranny. Tim does call himself bi, but he doesn’t suck or bottom. Tim and Carol/Karl do have sex, but Carol/Karl is not yet a vampire, but she/he is the one doing it with a vampire. Tim never does get into bed with a vampire. Sleeping with a vampire does not make "you become undead". The first chapter is about Tim and Karl. The second chapter has Tim and Karl listening to a 500 year-old vampire’s life story. Karl takes over the story in the third chapter and we learn how he came to meet the vampires. The fourth chapter goes off the rails with two more narrators also meeting the vampires, before the short fifth chapter returns Tim.

The book is even shorter than the page count as there is an Appendix section. The story is covered in 118 pages. From the description, you might be mislead to believe this book is gay themed, it’s only slightly. I just wish I had known the truth about the book before spending the money.

2 thoughts on “Dracula DOESN’T suck Hollywood Dudes

  1. I hope you’re not terribly pissed about the as you put it ‘tranny’ bit, for I am a transman and would find it weird and disgusted to be considered a female – I am not, never have had the capacity to be and never will have.

    But the book does seem rather shit. Sounds like a weak plot, the title just reeks of the fakery as can be seen in a certain place mentioned in it. Where’s the sucking and vampires? Bugger me, sounds like there’s none of that. Nice Review.

    1. Just to clarify, first the book is crap. Second, the book’s blurb was misleading, although mostly because it is not clear. The description makes it seem like Tim is gay and has regular sex with Karl, his “lover”. But Karl is not Karl, and Tim doesn’t have sex with vampires in the end. If Karl/Carol is trans then that should be celebrated.

      Maybe the description should have mentioned that Karl was trans, but it would not have mattered. Tim never had sex with a vampire, which was the bigger lie, he is hardly even central to the story. Tim could either be in denial about his sexuality or free and open to any experience. It’s fair to say Tim’s preference is to have sex with a man dressed as a woman (yet in the end that is not what he chooses). That is ok and yet the book’s description hid that.

      Thank you for your comment and for being polite even if my post was not trans friendly. There are far better (and a few bad) books available that I’d recommend before Dracula Sucks Hollywood Dudes (because Dracula didn’t). I’m pretty open-minded and accepting, except towards werewolves.

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