The Week: October 18

As Halloween approaches, vampire sightings are always on the rise. Here are a few tidbits from the last week and the coming week, including a theory that vampires are cool because of gay men, a new webisode of I kissed a Vampire, and the opening of The Vampire’s Assistant film.

Straight women love vampires, but really want to sleep with gay men

Search the web for “Twilight” and “gay” and you get a lot of comments that “Twilight is gay”… I wish it were so. Those poor vampires don’t even have fangs, which must seem like being a eunuch. Well one journalist over at Esquire is suggesting that the current popularity over vampire’s is really because straight women want to sleep with gay men. I don’t completely buy the theory, though there are a lot of vampires such as Edward from Twilight, or Stefan in the Vampire Diaries who are hiding secrets from pushy girls who’ve taken a liking to these beautiful, sensitive, well-dressed and sophisticated young men. I can see how seven times out of ten those men in real life are gay (unknowingly or closeted), with the other three split between metrosexuals and a vampire.

Original Esquire essay | Entertainment Weekly chimes in

Mathematically vampires can’t exist

A math professor in Florida claims vampires don’t exist. His claim is based on math, I know surprising. It works like this: “On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.”

Now clearly this “theory” or bunk relies on the human turning after being bitten. For one, vampires would be smart enough to know to kill their prey if they were to turn from the bite, after all their food supply would be quickly diminished. No, this theory proves more that vampires can simply turn their prey with one bite, obviously there’s more to the change. Check out the theory

Tuesday

The second webisode of I kissed a Vampire will rise on iTunes. Check it out: US Store or UK Store

Thursday

Apparently there will not be a new episode of The Vampire Diaries this week. Episode 7 will broadcast on the 29th in time for Halloween. The last episode reportedly had the highest ratings since it’s premiere and unlike other shows, viewership is growing. Still it would be nice if Kevin Williamson (of Dawson Creek fame) would also introduce a gay character to Mystic Falls (preferably a vampire), and sooner rather than later.

Friday

The Vampire’s Assistant hit movie screens. Based on the young adult books by Darren Shen, the story follows suburban teen Darren as he and his best friend make a visit to a traveling freak show where Darren meets a vampire who offers him immortality. Thus Darren is 16 (and underage) forever, and he gets to escape his boring suburban life. Catch up on the first three books in the saga in one movie edition novel, The Vampire’s Assistant and Other Tales from the Cirque Du Freak (The Saga of Darren Shan).