Another gay vampire rant

I came across a website recently that annoyed me. The website details vampire sexuality and under the entry for gay vampires, the site had this less than helpful (and utterly homophobic) information.

The coupling of two male vampires is very rare in the preternatural domain. This is not because the idea is repulsive to vampires but because males are usually very lonely sexy beasts. If a collective has more than twenty females then there will be more than one male to handle the sexual demands. In this case, male to male sex becomes necessary.
The problem for a male vampire is the way sex works. His secretions initiate the females making them “faithful” to him in the chemical sense. It’s only important during mating but while she waits for her next cycle, other males in the collective are fair game. Sex with a male other than her own usually prevents her heat, and females will invite for sly sex for contraceptive purposes. It might save her the hassle, but it means her male might have to start her sexual initiation from scratch.

It seems that the writer has merely decided that sex between two male vampires is rare and uncommon because normally there are enough females around to “handle the sexual demands”. But not to be obvious but I could be stuck on a dessert island with only females and I’d still be gay. If two gay vampires were alone with 20 females, then I doubt they’d be paying any attention to the females, unless they were having a fight.

So the male vampire’s secretions make the female faithful, which again doesn’t factor in for gay vampires who probably wouldn’t be secreting near a female. I hope I’m not bi-bashing here, but seriously this entry pre-supposes that a vampire can’t simply be gay. There are gay vampires. In fact if you have a search on the internet, all vampires are gay. I wish.